honoumiko

I had a dream last night. I was reunited with a bunch of my old friends from high school. They all looked the way they did then, not the way they do now. Oddly enough it was all at Otakon (which made sense for one of them, since she came down to visit last year and go to Otakon with me, but she wasn't the first one I saw, which is odd). A few faculty members too.

Also I dreamed that David cheated on me and I wagged my finger at him angrily all like "DON'T. CHEAT." I then became bitter and flirted with everyone, and at some point, I ended up in a bizarre mosh-pit-like crowd where everyone was sleeping or something, and I was trying to work my way through and find someone to cuddle with... and somehow at the same time it was a facebook quiz, and the result was that I was to cuddle with a pillow. And I was like "GOOD I NEED PERSONAL SPACE WHEN I SLEEP ANYWAY."

This is just LOADED with Freudian goodies, isn't it?? Don't want to think about it, though I think the mosh pit thing was a result of me watching a video of a rave party on youtube.

Oh, and Kaoru Hitachiin was hitting on me. Totally. Not a cosplayer, the actual character.

Also, new icon. XD



why can't I have a dream about a character that I actually fangirl over

icon fucking relevant.



(Dorotea, you are a genius for thinking of that book. Thank you.)

This actually happened. The damn thing got in my room, and all I heard was gross wings flapping, like, the kind you KNOW is some huge creepy bug. And I'm like "oh, well shit." THEN I FELT SOMETHING LAND ON MY LEG. I half-shrieked and flailed because it startled the hell out of me. At that point, I still didn't see what the hell was buzzing around.

Then I see this dumb little baby wasp kind of rolling around on the floor, apparently not able to fly very high. And I'm like "OH FUCK YOU, YOU HAVE A STINGER. DIE, YOU FUCK." So I'm looking around for something to smack it with, and I'm like "no, I don't want to get Opera News all gross with bug juice."

And then it hit me.

THE DEATH NOTE. (Ian got me one for my birthday; I used it as my Music History II notebook... figure, everyone's already dead, so taking notes for that class won't risk anything cosmic happening and freaking me out).

Anyway, so. THE DEATH NOTE. How FUCKING EPIC would that be, right??

Of course, now I can't find the damn wasp, and I'm standing here, with my shirt but no pants because it's too hot in the room, waiting for this wasp to show up again, startling me with its annoying-as-hell FLFLFLFLFLLFLFPPP gross wing noises.

And lo... it did.

And lo... I SMACKED THE SHIT OUT OF THE DAMN THING REPEATEDLY, CURSING AT IT AND LAUGHING MANIACALLY. WITH MY DEATH NOTE. " *excited gasp* HAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, YESSSS." Something like that.

It wasn't even faked; hell, why would I risk freaking my roommate out over this? I do NOT KNOW where that truly visceral, evil, sadistic laugh came from, except that a) I was so proud of myself for having killed a bug with a stinger, as I am usually one to freak out and leave the room and get someone else to kill it... and b) I KILLED USING THE DEATH NOTE. THIS IS POSSIBLY ONE OF THE MOST EPIC THINGS I HAVE EVER DONE.

I will not lie; it felt GOOD. That sick laugh came from the pit of my stomach; brief as it was, it was raw, unabashed, and ecstatic.

Which bothers me a bit. But you know something, I think I learned something through all this. I think this shows true human nature. As humans, we have an instinct to kill. And since most of us no longer hunt as early humans always needed to, we are deprived of that. Provided that most of us are also good-natured citizens like myself who would never DREAM of killing another human being... I think there is a bit of catharsis to be enjoyed through the conquest of something as small as a wasp. Something that could have stung me and been really, really fucking annoying. And I think, deep down, I understand our dear Light Yagami just a little bit more after tonight.

That or I'm a freak who just thought it was hilarious to actually kill something with a Death Note, merchandise though it may be.


Probably the latter.

To part, some words from my mother after I told her I killed a bug using the Death Note:

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT