(no subject)

Conversation from last night, at like 2AM or so:

[I shall spare you the disgusting story about the guy my mom saw on a NYC subway way back... except that all I will say is that he failed to wait until he could find a restroom]
Me: *laughing fit from telling the story*
David: You know, there is SO much intellectual humor out there... and you're laughing... at diarrhea...
Me: *between laughing bouts* Yeah, don't get me wrong, I love intellectual humor, and I enjoy it very much, but there are just some times in your life when you have to laugh at poop.
David: You need to go to sleep. *I* need to go to sleep, I have stuff to do tomorrow afternoon.
Me: I know, I know.
David: Here. I'll sing you a lullaby. Hush little Stephanie, don't say a word, David's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird don't sing...
Me: DAVID'S GONNA BURY IT IN THE BACKYARD!!
David: ....I was going to say I was going to buy you a diamond ring...
Me: Oh my god. Now I feel awful. That was a reference to South Park. Have you seen Spookyfish?
David: ......?????
Me: Stan has this fish that kills everyone, and his mom thinks it's Stan, and sings that to him.
David: .......
Me: Anyway, continue.
David: And if that mockingbird don't sing, David's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring is cubic zirconium....
*long pause*
Me: *bursts out laughing*
David: Shut up! I don't know the rest of the song!